13 Years Later

Every year at this time I try to think about all the ways I have changed since we last saw each other. This year I was thinking about all the things you would still recognize. It's amazing how time changes so many things but still manages to keep others the same way you left them. 

Mom is the same lady you remember. She is still strong, determined and beautiful. She is my voice of reason and the glue that holds us all together. Sandy is still just like you, cut from your cloth. People love her or hater her, but most people love her. She says what we all think and will take the shirt off her back for a friend, heck she will sometime even take the shirt off her back for a stranger it's just who she is. She has a strong heart and even stronger will. Tera is still the same too. Quick witted just like you, the life of the party, practical and strong. She is the funniest person I know and still the same little Tera you remember.

The world is the same in some ways too. Cancer is still beating people everyday. The small talk in grocery stores is still about New England weather and local sports teams. We still have Democrats and Republicans battling all the same issues they have been battling for decades. Traffic is still bad on 128 and 93 everyday and their is still nothing better than a coffee and donut and a little oldies 103.3 to pass the time while traffic breaks up. Thin Mint cookies are still the best Girl Scout cookie and their is still nothing better than a mid day nap. Yes time has marched on but so much has stayed the same....

Some thing sadly though has changed so drastically I wonder if you would even recognize them. Mom's hair is lighter and shorter and she no longer wears that puff on the top of her head. (She did always like "volume") in her hair.... She is a grandmother to 2 beautiful grandchildren with 2 more on the way. In just a few short moths she will have more grandchildren than she has children! Sandy is married with a daughter that has the same little quarks as her. We are all looking forward to the day that Sophia challenges her every word the same way she has challenged all of us. She has been trying a long time for the baby she is carrying now and sometimes I like to think you finally had a hand in giving her that gift. Even if you didn’t it brings me peace to think someone was looking out for her. She is a good mother and deserves this new baby. Tera is married too.... her only baby is her big dopey 120 lb. dog. She loves him though and shows us through that love that she will someday be a great mother if that is what she chooses. In the meantime she will continue to be a fun free spirited independent woman. Much different than the awkward 15 year old daughter you left behind. 

Almost everyone has cell phones now. People are always on them too. This almost makes me sad. I feel like people have forgotten how to live in the "now" they are always so caught up in text messaging (this is sending messages through a phone without calling someone.) Beepers are pretty much obsolete and you can actually get a ticket for texting and driving... Too many accidents have been caused this way. You record your favorite TV shows right on the television now (no VCR required) so you don’t have to be home early to watch your favorite shows, show times are all relative. People’s primary way of communicating is through e-mail which is letters you write on the computer to one another. Computers are used for everything now. So many things have a "drive thru" now like pharmacies and dry cleaners. A movement has been made to try to make things "convenient" and easily assessable to people. The biggest reason for this is most families have both parents working full time. The Mom no longer stays home and rears the children while the father works. Day cares are widely used and most time both incomes are needed for a family's survival. Owning a home is also not very easy anymore and not really "the American dream" you probably remember. People are having children later in life and the amount of women having children out of wedlock has doubled if not tripled since you were here. Our culture has changed.

Life is the same yet it is so different. The way I miss you and ache for you to talk to and to be here for me is still the same but sometimes I wonder if you would even recognize me. I look at my son and husband and wonder what you would say about them if you were here to know and enjoy them. I wonder if you would see me the same. I wonder if I would see you the same. After 13 years I am still left with the love you gave me and the lessons you taught me but still left wondering.... what life would be like if you were still here....

13 years later...  .