My babies

Today someone asked me how old my baby was and I paused and thought to myself, how old is my baby? 8 weeks? 9 weeks? I had no idea really. Then only a few hours later I fell asleep sitting up. One minute I was reading a sheet of paper at my desk and the next I was scared when someone was trying to talk to me and startled me back to reality. I sit at 3:30am feeding Matthew and look down to see his eyes looking at me as the milk drips down the side of his face onto his bib. I want nothing more than to be asleep in my warm bed but know their will come a day that I will wish I was sitting and rocking my sweet tiny little boy. I wake up almost every morning to find Benjamin has peed through the sheets. I have tried bigger diapers, plastic over pants and last night I got desperate and placed a sanitary napkin at the top edge of his diaper to catch the excess that comes from his diaper.... Will I really miss watching bed sheets daily? I find that hard to believe but I will miss the sound of his feet running across the room towards me. I will miss him calling me "mama" and him running his fingers through my hair as we sit and watch Winnie the Pooh. I will miss how his small hand feels in mine and what it feels like to hold my entire world in my arms, Matthew on one side and Benjamin on the other. I will miss the days that I can kiss them endlessly and laugh when Benjamin yells hooray for me when he hears me do "pee pee" on the potty. The days pass to quickly and I see them growing to fast.... my babies will someday no longer be babies... in fact before I know it they will no longer be children at all. I will soon trade the bottles for cups and baby toys for sports equipment. I will someday sleep through the night and no longer need to baby proof. These days I will not be falling asleep at my desk... I will know how old my children are and I will long for the days that I still had my babies.