A Reason Why

I’m not sure what struck me so different tonight compared to other nights. Was it the mustache or the big hands with freckles that took my head for a spin? Perhaps, it was the reason our paths crossed – the reason he was here. I introduced myself by saying “Hi, I’m Teri and I am going to be your nurse tonight”. He rolled over away from me and stated “Oh God, its going to be a rough night for both of us” and started laughing. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or remain silenced. Was he mocking me or my profession? I laughed and responded with “You don’t even know!”
After much time talking to this man during his physical exam I learned how funny and sarcastic he was. Hence the comment above. I haven’t had a patient that connected with me at this level for a while. It wasn’t until I began his IL-2 (interleukin-2) infusion that he began to express how scared he was. We went over all the possible (and brutal) side effects this treatment has on people and their families. I gratefully had the time to spend with him providing him with the support he needed. I gave him the encouragement to keep fighting. After his first infusion tonight he muttered “I’m glad I have you and the other nurses to help me through this.” Our night was filled with laughter, tears and silence together holding hands.
At this time I still don’t know what made me connect to this man in such a short period of time. Maybe it was the freckles or perhaps the mustache. But whatever it was, it made me realize the reason why I am a nurse. To give back to those you gave to us.