12 Days

In 12 days I will be married... 12 days.

I can remember many times when major life milestones were only 12 days in front of me. Every summer approximately 12 days before school started my sisters and I would drive in my mom's station wagon down to stare at the signs posted in the windows in the front of the elementary school. We would study each name in our new classroom and ask all the kids about our new teacher. We would set our expectations for the year and we would feel our fate being decided by that single sheet of white paper with black ink...We would go shopping at JC Penney outlet store and Stuarts and would spend time trying on each item we had plucked from the rack. We would get our backpack's ready and pick out our first day of school outfit. We would prepare ourselves for a whirlwind of change...

12 days before I turned 16 I remember watching my sister drive and wondering how it was so easy for her. I studied the drivers ed book like I was the pope reading the bible. I asked friends if the permit test was hard and I dreamed about the day I would experience the freedom of driving down a road in a car alone... the radio dial turned on and only the open road in front of me.

12 days before I lost my virginity I wondered if I was in love - the real kind... I wondered if I would marry this man. I wondered if sex hurt and if it would change things in my relationship or would change me... I wondered what it would be like to be naked in front of a man and what it would feel like.

12 days before I graduated college I remember wondering why I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I remember packing my things at my apartment for the last time and I recall walking campus wondering the next time I would be back after graduation (if I ever did come back.) I wondered what having a degree would really offer me in this world and where I would get the money to pay my student loans off. I wondered where my professional life was headed.

12 days away from the biggest change in my life so far. 288 hours from saying "i do". I am happy. I am in love and I am ready to be Mrs. Anzelmo...